The Punsultancy

So it turns out my dinner guests can tell the difference between ground beef and floor beef.

Damn you, Microsoft Excel. Your buttons are labeled with things that I love. However, they do not provide me with what they promise:

I have clicked on both of these buttons. Yet, I do not have a delicious slice of pie nor am I getting drunk around a bunch of strangers. WHAT THE HELL.

Question: What does the Pope eat on his pancakes?

Answer: Papal syrup.

At the Norske Nook in Osseo, WI, you can season your food with a pleasing flavor:

What do you call a bunch of eggs that resist being eaten?

An ohmlette.